I Speak Wallpaper

Dog Whispering Rule Number One

2007-04-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

At first this won't seem to have much to do with dogs and dog whispering.... but you'll see.

I found out the reason my daughter had been keeping me at arm's length for five years was because she had been letting her live in boyfriend beat the hell out of her for five years.

My grandson begged me to just let her be, that everyone had tried to get her to quit the relationship and it was impossible. So please, don't put everyone through the grief. (I'm sure she put him up to that conversation) And I told him that by God I didn't believe in impossible.

(note: I don't use the term "by God" frivously. When I say "by God," that's exactly what I mean)

I didn't know what to do. Then I was watching Oprah and saw this pretty young country singer who keeps letting her 'man' beat hell out of her. Oprah asked her father how it made him feel. He said, "Helpless." And Oprah has one of the few shows that can make me jump up and shout at the tv. And I shouted, "Helpless my ass! I'll feel a lot of things but I'll die and go to hell before I feel helpless when it comes to some son of a bitch beating the hell out of my daughter."

So I prayed for guidence, insight, wisdom, cunning.... everything, anything, that would help me stop this madness.

You should feel the grin that is on my face right now. By God, and I do mean, BY GOD, prayers are answered.

For one thing I was blessed that he was owned by his parents. He was that little county's G. W. Bush. Daddy supplied his jobs, his new pickups and his excess paychecks. Mama and Daddy wouldn't put him in rehab because of the way it would "look." Aha, so how they looked to people mattered more to them than him abusing my daughter and risking eventually going to prison for accidentally murdering her. I could use that.

And I did use that to get them to finally take an interest in getting him off of her with a couple of signs I had made for the back of my truck asking people to pray for them by name, and pray they'd love their son enough to get him into crank rehab. What low lifes! It got them to pull him off her, but they still haven't ever put him in rehab. And them with plenty of money. Bastards! If there's a hell, those fine upstanding members of the community are destined for it.

But the point of this blog is to share with you what I said to my daughter that worked to get her to let go. You see, she has a dog she loves. And of course, the monster had never touched her dog. She was convinced she didn't have low self esteem, that letting him beat hell out of her regularly wasn't proof of her low self esteem.

Finally I used her dog T-bone for an example. I said to her, "Baby if he came in here and picked up your dog by the throat and slammed him against the wall, and backhanded T-Bone the way he does my daughter - you'd never let the son of a bitch cross your doorway again. You literally let him treat my daughter and my grandson's mother far worse than you'd ever let him treat your dog and if that isn't low self esteem I'll kiss your ass on mainstreet."

It was an "Aha moment" for her.

Then during the restraining order hearing, when his mother kept trying to get the judge to prevent me from putting the signs on the back of my pickup and driving in circles around her job and her husband's business.... and the judge said to her, "Ma'am, there is no law against asking people to pray for someone that needs help." Whoooooeeee, that was "her" Aha moment. :)))

And the five year nightmare was over.

These are my dog whispering rules:

Never let a man hit you harder than you hit your dog.
Never let a man hit you more often than you hit your dog.
Never let a man speak to you with more anger than you speak to your dog.
Never hit your dog.
Never speak to your dog with anger.
Remain at all times, calm and assertive.
And if you're with a guy who can't treat you as well as you treat your dog - honey, that's not a man, that's a hammer you're hitting yourself with and calling it love.

Carpe Mater's DiemMake it sweeeeet!

2006-03-12T16:19:00.000-08:00

800x600

1024x768

8x10 print size

Carpe Mater's Diem!
Sieze Mother's Day!
Ask for her advice.
Even consider it.
She'll be thrilled!
because
giving advice
= I love you.

What's the sweetest gift you can give your mother? I've been a grown daughter of a loving mother and I'm now the loving mother of grown daughters and I KNOW the answer. Read on, it's easy.

In a beautiful mother's day card, write:

~~~~~~~

Dear Mom,

Please let me take you to lunch (or dinner) and give me at least 30 minutes of your advice and wisdom about anything you like. I promise to listen, take notes and consider it fully later on. And I promise to appreciate the love in your suggestions with all my heart.

~~~~~~~

It doesn't matter how unpleasantly she may have learned to express it; once she's gone, no one will ever love you quite as sincerely or dearly again. A mother's advice is only love, no matter what it looks like, it's just love.

- Lollie

My Prescription For Embarrassment

2006-03-08T12:40:00.000-08:00

800x600

1024x768

8x10 print size

My prescription for embarrassment:
Take two Tabloids with a grain of salt!

We all get embarrassed from time to time. If you've learned to giggle and let it go, that's great. And if you haven't, then take this prescription. Or if for example, your best friend got really embarrassed and she's miserable, put this wallpaper up on her desktop and place two or three tabloids on her desk in front of the computer, maybe with a note that says I love you and I can testify with certainty that anyone who looks down on you is an idiot standing on their head. :))

You might also tell them about the time I went to a ranch and asked if I could take pictures of some of their bulls. They suggested the huge angus, but the light was perfect on the Brehmer bull, I'd just shoot him for a bit. I began taking pictures and I hear the cowboys behind me laughing their heads off. I say inside my mind "You boys go ahead and laugh, I'm getting my pictures and that's all I care about."

It wasn't till I got home that I discovered something I should have known..... Not all brehmers are bulls -- that beautiful brehmer bull I was taking pictures of in the slanting afternoon sun was a Brehmer COW with a brehmer calf. All alone in front of the computer screen I blushed crimson and laaaaaughed till I nearly cried. I wonder if I'll ever go back. I suppose I must. Good grief! Bwaaaahahahhaaaaahahaa aha aha ahem.....

- Lollie

The Four to One Rule

2006-03-04T16:28:00.000-08:00

800x600

1024x768

8x10 print size

When upset, it's easy to believe we're completely in the right and the other person is completely in the wrong.

However, the odds are 4 to 1 against it, especially in conflicts with friends, coworkers and family members. See the possibilities on the wallpaper and below.

Either:

You are 100% right, they are 100% wrong.
They are 100% right, you are 100% wrong.
You are both partly right and partly wrong.
You are both right.
You are both wrong. (this is my favorite! lol)

So whenever you're in conflict, remember,

the odds are 4 to 1 against

you being the only one in the right.

- Lollie

Truth...

2006-03-03T01:17:00.000-08:00

800x600

1024x768

8x10 print size

I took this picture with my trusty old Nikon 3mp 880 back in 2001.

The text on the wallpaper says:

Truth isn't only black or white.

It's grays, plaids, and polka-dots too.

Why, if God is to be believed,

many truths are brilliant.

A lily, lit by a setting sun, reminded me of one:

Things don't have to last forever to be beautiful.

- Lollie